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Married Life May Be Easier Than The Wedding
Home > Wedding Planning > Groom's Guide > Married Life May be Easier Than The Wedding
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From Melvin Durai's Humor Column
My fiancé, Malathi, to her credit, suggested we have a small family wedding. If I hadn't been so stunned and so naive, I would have not only accepted her offer, but also made her put it in writing. Then I would have had it notarized. And stored it in a waterproof, fireproof, bride-proof safe.
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I wanted to have a bigger wedding, because it's important for me to include all my close friends in my special day, especially since they are likely to bring gifts. How else am I supposed to remember my wedding day?
But I didn't realize that planning a wedding involves so much work. And I didn't realize that Malathi would get so carried away with the little details, such as the formal style in addressing invitations and the proper color of napkins at the reception, rules adopted at the 1927 convention of the Association of Wedding Planners With Nothing Better to Do. I'm amazed Malathi, in her zeal to get everything right, hasn't yet told the minister what cologne to wear. I'm also surprised she hasn't told the guests exactly what clothes to wear. After all, we wouldn't want one of their haphazardly selected outfits to clash with the bridal gown worn by the figurine atop the wedding cake. That would be sheer disaster. The type of calamity that would make Martha Stewart want to drown herself in the punch bowl.
Men and women obviously approach weddings differently. Women want to make sure everything is perfect, from the shape of the gown, to the shape of the cake, to the shape of the future mother-in-law. Men, if they could, would get married in torn jeans and T-shirts, and have the reception at a place called Big Bertha's Burgers and Wieners. As long as Big Bertha has a liquor license and at least half her front teeth.
Malathi has not only pored over dozens of wedding books, she has grown an antenna that detects anything remotely wedding-related within 100 miles. We could be driving past a credit card company's office and she'd say, "We need to make sure the glasses at the reception aren't plastic." We could be driving past a car wash and she'd say, "We need to make sure all your relatives take baths."
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