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Breaking the Engagement

 
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Unfortunately, not all engagements end in a wedding. What do you do when you are planning a wedding and one or both of you decides you are not ready for marriage? While this experience can often be hard to talk about, there are some things you are obligated to do. Here are some etiquette rules on what happens after the two of you decide to cancel the wedding.

Notification:

  • If you have sent out an engagement announcement in the newspaper, it would be appropriate to send out a short note indicating your names and the fact that the wedding is canceled. No reasons need to be stated.
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  • If invitations have already been sent out, another written note should be sent that lets your guests know that the engagement has been broken. Again, do not include personal details and keep it short.
  • If wedding invitations have not been sent out, you may notify people via word of mouth.


Gifts:

  • All engagement gifts need to be returned.
  • Giving back the ring is a debated issue. Some say that unless it has been in the bride’s family for generations, it should always go back to the man. Others say that if the man breaks it off, the woman can keep it, but if she breaks it off then she has to give it back.


As much as it hurts, it was probably for the best. It is much easier to get out of an engagement then it is to get out of a marriage. Keep your chin up, don’t answer any questions you don’t want to and treat yourself to a little self-indulgence

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