Some years ago, I was invited to
a wedding and heard that the couple had registered for gifts at a
department store. I was appalled. "You mean they're
actually telling us what gifts to bring to their wedding?" I
asked a friend. "Well, can we tell them what food to serve at
their reception? I'd really like to have some prime rib. And maybe
some caviar, too."
A bridal registry seemed so
presumptuous, so tacky. It was like saying to your guests,
"We're glad you're coming to our wedding. We assume you'll
bring a nice gift, as all good guests do. We've made a list of
items we'd like to receive, items you can buy at the store of our
choice.
We've done this for two reasons: (1) You have no idea what
we need. (2) You have no idea what's in style. You'd better hurry
to the store. The cheap gifts are going fast."
I couldn't imagine my future
bride and I registering for gifts. I was sure it would ruin the
suspense. I wanted to have a few surprises after the wedding and
not just on the wedding night. I was looking forward to unwrapping
gifts with my bride and saying, "Sweetheart, look at this
great gift my friend Ted bought us! An electric can opener! We
could really use that, especially if we break the other two we
own. And what about this great gift your friend Sarah gave us! An
electric can opener! We could really use that, especially when we
have a yard sale."
I knew we'd end up with a few
gifts we didn't like, from all those people who are
gift-challenged. And if we didn't want to lie, we'd have to be
really creative in our thank-you cards. "Dear Aunt Rachel,
thank you so much for that incomparable music collection 'The Best
of Shaquille O'Neal.' We've never heard anything quite like it.
It's so touching, it makes us want to cry. In fact, we cried as
soon as we opened the package."
